Dear Wayne and Wanda, I have been with "Betty" for a few years now. I love her and hope we spend our lives together. We talk about getting married, and I feel like it's now on me to propose. I know as the holidays approach she's hoping this is it and that I'll ask her to marry me either on Christmas or New Year's. I also know I don't plan on doing so just yet. This will be our fourth Christmas season together. The first time, we had just started dating, but the second time (2015), her best friend confided in me afterward that Betty had been hoping I would propose. I was kind of surprised then because we hadn't been together that long (just over a year). But I remembered this last year during the holidays, and I could tell once again she was hoping I would ask her to marry me. Since then, during this past year, we have talked more concretely and in a more detailed way about marriage. For example, we agree we want to be married or at least engaged before we buy a home, and we have talked about how much we should be saving toward a down payment and what neighborhood we would live in. We also have talked about whether we want children, more pets, and where we would go for a honeymoon. So the intention is clearly there. I just don't feel like it's the time yet to propose. It's not about not loving her. I'm just not quite where I want to be when we start our lives together. For example, I would like to be in a more solid spot professionally, and have a bit more money in the bank too. I'd love to buy her a gorgeous ring and give her the kind of wedding she deserves and dreams of. I haven't told her this outright, and she has dropped a couple hints like how she's ready to take the "next step" and she sure would like something sparkly for Christmas. Ugh. Should I just tell her straight up that I'm not going to propose this season? It seems like that might be better than having her stress about it and anticipate it for the next month, only to end up disappointed. But I don't want her to think I don't love her enough or that I'm not serious about us. Help? Wanda says: The good news is you've found someone wonderful who likes you back, and who seems giddily gung-ho about